Ensconced in velvet...

This glorious burgundy specimen is looking for a new home. Can you help?

Its owners insist it's been in "the good room" for five years. On average, they use the good room twice a year, they reckon, so calculate it has only been sat on 10 times in its lifetime. Wow. They reckon it retails for $8500, but they've very generously opened the bidding at $3000, with a $5000 Buy It Now option.

So, on their estimation, there's been $350 worth of loss every time someone has sat their ass on this couch. Maybe JLo was a regular visitor.

The owners also claim it is "worth a furtune". A furtune? Is there fur inside the cushions? Does it sing songs by the band Fur? Can you trade fur to buy the couch?

Its velvet nature reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George talks of his dream to be permanently "ensconced in velvet". He gets a velvet tracksuit and eventually finds a woman who shares his dream. It's a beautiful thing. Personally, I used to dream of being able to have the water bubblers at school dispense chocolate milk and Fanta (not at the same time, that would be wrong, obviously, though it would be kinda Jaffa-like). My more recent dream is to be a judge on Iron Chef. That, my friends, would rock my world.