If I had a webcam I would post a photo of how screwed up my face is looking right now after finding this couch. My face is all distorted and my brow is all furrowed. I better be careful, or the wind might change. Either that, or I may have to get some botox tips from Nicole Kidman, and I don't think anyone wants to see another plastic face wandering around.
I'm wondering if this couch is actually wet, or whether those are sweat patches left after some serious couch potato action on the weekend. Or perhaps it's remnant skin cells from the person who got stuck to this couch after sitting on it on a summer's day. They're never getting that top layer of skin back. This couch may prove a useful skin donor site if the person who owns it ever gets burnt. Though, having said that, I guess there's a fair danger the friction generated from this man-made fabric monstrosity may be the cause of the burns, so it's kind of a self-defeating exercise.
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