A hunk a hunk of fugly chair

Oh dear. Dear, dear...

I guess diehard Elvis fans will think it's sacreligious of me to fug this chair (it's not strictly a couch, is it?) Could do the obligatory joke about sitting on Elvis's face, but that would be in poor taste, even for me.

$1500 to love this couch tenderly. Me and this chair can't go on together, with suspicious minds. A little less conversation, a little more action is needed. Viva, Las Vegas.

That's a whole lotta fugly

It's fugly, it's got no idea what it's trying to be, it's just wrong.

But what really makes this one stand out is the price. $14,000. If this couch is stuffed with $100 bills, I get it. If not: WHAT THE FUG?

Another reason not to like Canberra

I love it when readers send me a couch - it's fab to think you're out there helping in my quest.

Melina spotted this when she was in Canberra last weekend. As far as I'm concerned, it's just one more reason to dislike the place (even though my mate Jules lives there and I miss her heaps).

Melina had this to say:

Not sure if this has been received before but I saw it in Canberra over the Queen's birthday weekend. It was part of a collection that was on display behind a black velvet rope- as if it was waiting in line to get into a nightclub. Anyhoot, thought you might be interested in seeing this- keep up the great work!

Thanks for the compliment, a girl can always do with an ego boost!

Gotta say, I'm kinda concerned about the couch behind this one too. Fugly in its own right, me thinks. Glad they've got the fugly couches all penned in there, lest they escape to fug up your lounge room.

Kidney pain

I've blogged before about the delightful descriptions you sometimes get on eBay, complete with a multitude of spelling errors.

Check this description out:

The Funky Couch
This was a piece that i was commitioned to produce for a client.
Due to the clients personal problems that sale never finalised.
SO NOW
I'm offering it to the world.
This was designed for story reading with the kids ( 1 adult 2 kids )
or relaxing with the partner.
Made from the 1100mm wide shell of a burnt out River Redgum stump from North Western Australia
Stripped back on the inside and finely sanded so the natural timber was bought to life and the coated in Acylic Lacquer.
The back is the natural exterior showing all the tree's features and texture again coated in Acrylic Lacquer
Comments recieved to me from friends suggest the inside of it looks like a pollished turtle shell.
The Upholstery is Professionally covered in Warrick Macro-suede velvet
The dimensions are overall Length 1150mm Width 800mm Hieght 870mm
Cushion Depth Middle 600mm Ends 450mm (Kidney Shaped)
This magnificant piece would suit any enviroment it was placed into.
I will make a custom made packing box as part of the sale price and am prepared to send oversea's.
Delivery and Frieght costs depends on were you are located
THIS IS FUNCTIONAL ART

You heard 'em - Functional Art! You know the old saying "I don't know much about art, but I know what I like"? Well, I don't like.

And how much for this crap? $7500 - I wish I was joking.

Smoking Skeletons

Ok, it's not an actual couch. But it came up in my couch quest on eBay and I couldn't resist.


Yep, that's a skeleton down there, smoking away...

See, this is what happens when you can't quit!

Three people have bid on this. No accounting for taste, especially in a country full of bogans.

Bad Eames

Apologies, fugly couchers - I went away for a week, to get some R&R on a vineyard near Daylesford. But I forgot to let you know. How remiss of me!

The quest shall resume...

On eBay at the moment, it's all about the Eames era. Not a problem by me, quite like it myself. Got a few pieces including my gorgeous dining table and chairs, which I'm just a bit in love with.

This is an example of Eames gone wrong. The lovely teak structure is still there, granted, but the leather... I know it's old and weather-beaten, but I don't think I would have loved this couch when it was in peak condition. It kind of looks like a huge leather cushion just got dumped on it. Not good.

Deco decadance

I generally love, love, love me some Art Deco furniture. Have got some in my home and consider myself a Deco fan.

Now, while this couch is not horribly fugly, I do think it's pretty bloody fugly on what is the normally gorgeous Deco scale. It doesn't look comfortable and I really don't understand the arm going around the back there - is that so you can stash your unmentionables from your Mum when she walks in the room? It's not exactly easy access and could lead to a crook neck.

Fugly, or not fugly? That is the question.

You're about to get a little more insight into my taste in couches here. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I kinda love this couch. It's the right kind of fugly, if there's such a thing. It looks like something that would have been in the Brady Bunch's house, and Lord knows that's my kinda style. Love me some classic mid-Century design.

Displaying this set out on the lawn is really doing it a disservice. As the Black Eyed Peas once asked, with a little help from JT, Where is the love?

Roll out the barrel

Your eyes don't deceive you - those skinny toothpick legs don't belong to Nicole Ritchie - they're tacked on to the bottom of some barrels.

Check it out from behind:

That's pretty bloody special. Forget about barrels for your potplants, bring 'em right into your home! Delightful.

Love couch, baby love couch

Hmmm... Should I let the eBay seller describe this one for you?

An amazing accessory that will totally transform your life!
Cupids' Couch is an inflatable couch manufactured from top quality cross woven PVC, and is ergonomically designed to hugely enhance your experiences.
The flowing lines of the couch combined with its soft feel and strategically located ankle/wrist handles make all manner of relaxing positions possible.
The couch consists of FOUR air chambers for maximum support and durability The upper chamber can be quickly deflated allowing the partially deflated couch to be easily stored under a double bed.
The couch is supplied complete with a high capacity ELECTRIC pump, a repair kit should you ever need it and a well-illustrated users guide. Holds up to 500 lbs and is easy to clean.

I don't want to think about 500lbs bouncing up and down on this, nor the need to clean it!

These here are crazy stripes

Gross, yuck, blah. Nothing is good about this fabric. It's so 80's in such a bad way that I think I'm gonna spew. Ergh.